


Nothing More Than Feelings

by symphonic__chaos



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Coma Magnus Bane, Episode: s03e16 Stay With Me, Hurt Magnus Bane, Inspired by Shadowhunters (TV), Internal Struggle, M/M, before the fight, collect yourself bitch, five senses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 04:11:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19433659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/symphonic__chaos/pseuds/symphonic__chaos
Summary: We all watched Magnus in his coma through others, but what did it look like from his POV?Originally posted on my Tumblr, yamamashay





	Nothing More Than Feelings

Darkness. Magnus tried opening his eyes, tried lifting his hands to rub at them, but they were all so heavy. Even his chest felt like something was sitting on it, pushing down and keeping him where he was. Pinned. Trapped.

_Alec?_

His mouth opened, or at least he willed it to, the voice that should have gone out with it once questioning, now a scream in his mind.

_Stop, Magnus, stop. Calm down, think._

There was panic racing through every fiber of his being, that anxious flutter of his heart something almost unrecognizable, he wasn't able to remember the last time he felt like this. Had he truly ever? Confined, blinded, silenced, but in all these weaknesses he knew he had to focus, had to gain bearing of what was around him.

**_Listen_**. A slight erratic beep, followed by another, and another, and another, five, six, seven- his heartrate. It slowed gradually to a steady pace as he focused on it, focused on staying calm as he'd told himself to do. There was breathing but he couldn't distinguish if it was himself or someone in the room with him. At one point there was a faint clicking, evenly paced and fleeting like someone with heeled boots was walking past, but it was definitely behind a closed door.

_**Feel**_. The heaviness, though through it he could breathe normally. Magnus wasn't trapped or pinned, it had to be something else. There was a small buzzing pain in the back of his head by the base of his skull, and matching was his temples. Trying to lift his hands once more proved useless, narrowing it down to paralysis or something else. Magic? One hand was warmer than the other, he had to give it all that he had to try and find out why. This one felt confined, his right hand was in something warm, slightly clammy, but it was firm.

_**Smell**_ came next, it was sterile, but not chemical. Enough visits to the hospital to remind Catarina that it was okay to go home or go eat had ingrained the smell of iodoform into his nostrils for weeks. Still it wasn't musty or homey, just well kept and clean, but through all of it there was something else. Lilacs, but they were distant, the scent maybe carried by an open window or a vent. Something heavier mingled with it, a perfume, it was familiar and in the haze in his mind he could almost envision someone, female. Izzy's smile broke shined through the fog and he knew she had been close to him at some point.

There was no discernible _**taste**_ there, his tongue just felt thick, slightly painful. It was entirely possible that he'd bitten it during whatever ordeal he'd been through, but even through that pain all he wanted was a drink to get rid of the cotton feel.

This was miserable and tiring. Magnus needed a break.

The second time he woke, he took a deep breath, expecting the weight from before. Surprisingly his chest rose and fell easily this time, repeating as he took in the larger amounts of new air into his lungs. The pain in his head was still there, his vision was fuzzy and the light he'd wished for previously seemed just a little too bright now, but he had it and it was all that mattered in the end.

_The seizure, your powers._

This was what he hadn't thought of before, this was the cause of it all, but why hadn't it been a simple nose bleed like before?

Alec, moving in together, "Of course, I love you,", the bloody nose... The pain, amplified like it hadn't been before. Magnus had said something, he remembered his lips moving and the reverberation of his voice, but all he'd heard was the ringing in his ears as Alec had helped him to the ground so he didn't hurt himself further. Alec had seen it all, Alec had heard and his Alec, oh, Alexander, he must have been so worried.

_"There you are."_

_**Hearing**_. The sound of the sheets under him shifting as he turned his head away from the light, they sounded stiff as if they were neatly starched until he took residence on them. His own voice, the soft pained 'Ah' that betrayed how he felt. "Hey."

_**Feeling**_. A pounding headache. His heart breaking. Panic. Worry. Familiar calloused fingertips on his chin, turning his head as the doleful thoughts of scaring Alec filled his mind. Relief. Safe. Home. Love.

_**Seeing**_. Blurriness faded away and was only replaced by the blinding glare of the flourescent lights all around him, no matter how dim. They outlined Alec as if he radiated his own heavenly glow and he could feel the smile come to his face. His Alec. Magnus blinked once or twice in an attempt to clear his vision, only to be blessed with the sight of Alec's face, smiling but clearly worried.

"There you are."


End file.
